Category Archives: Paradigms

Overwhelm Schmoverwhelm!

Are we overwhelmed, yet?

Tis the season for overwhelm, for sure, but that’s not going to stop us from getting done what we need to get done, right?  Or at least doing what we can and letting the rest go.

No matter what, the holiday meal will be delivered, with or without the green beans with the little slivered almonds and with or without a tantrum or two.

But I’m curious.

Does overwhelm ever stop you from moving forward toward your big money goals, like saving for retirement or making a strategy for financial freedom or world domination?  Does it all just seem so big and undoable?

Sometimes I just want to hide under the covers.  Which is at least an improvement from my shopping-to-numb-the-pain days.

Still.

Hiding isn’t helping and I’m not getting any younger and there’s money to be managed and a business to grow!!

Does overwhelm paralyze you?

If you find that overwhelm has carved a bottomless chasm between you and what you want, getting across it may be simpler than you think.

It may be as simple as breaking the big goal down into smaller, doable pieces.  Bite sizes that you can swallow one at a time, rather than a giant chunk you might choke on.

Everything is totally doable and totally manageable when the steps are small enough.  (Tweet that, Sunshine.)

It’s like cooking a holiday dinner for a clan of 20.  Here’s how you do it…

one

Start with the desired outcome (AKA the meal plan) and a definite end date.

Work backwards along your timeline and brainstorm all the moving pieces that need to come together for the end result to be something Aunt Nancy would be proud of.

Three

Schedule in what needs to be done and by when.  You may need Post-It notes.

Four

Then work on one dish at a time until it all comes together in a delightful and delicious feast.

One dish at a time.  One bite at a time.

One step.  And then another.  Another, still.

And they all add up to carry you straight over that chasm of overwhelm.

Small steps add up to huge progress over time.

 

By the way, being overwhelmed by your collection of Post-It notes is another story.  You need tools for this journey to business success and financial mastery.  So next time I’ll review some personal project managements apps that I’m finding much sleeker than the Post-It Note approach.  Stay tuned!

How do you handle overwhelm in your business or when planning for your financial future?  Leave a comment below and share any tips or strategies you’ve found useful.

What To Do When You Know You’re Failing

There was an article in the New York Times last Sunday about failed start-ups.

But no one was wallowing in their sorrows or crying into their raw vanilla lattes.

In fact, one savvy entrepreneur had organized a yearly conference–FailCon–where entrepreneurs came together to share their stories and celebrate their failures.

Some had squandered millions of angel investor money.  One had a product that no one liked.  He shut the whole company down, told his story at the conference, and then had 100,000 requests for information.  That guy might have wallowed a bit.

FailCon eventually failed, too.  (Oh, the irony.)  They decided to call it quits in the U.S. once they realized that failure as a badge of honor was finally on everyone’s radar.

In Transformational Coaching we have a paradigm that says this:

There is no such thing as failure, only feedback.

On the one hand, yes, it’s an invitation to turn failures into learning experiences, to glean what you can from the choices you made and to move on to the next adventure with more wisdom under your belt.

Macro FailCon!

Love it.  It’s smart.  It’s important to be on entrepreneurial people’s radar.  But there’s more.

What happens when you’re failing in the moment?

When you’re face-to-face with a client or prospect and your message isn’t landing?  When your audience is restless?  When you hear white noise after a launch or a client isn’t following through on your suggestions?

Before you decide YOU are a failure, broken, out of her league, totally unloveable and barely human, take a deep breath.

Remind yourself that failure isn’t an invitation to find yourself lacking.

Rather, failure is simply an invitation to do something, anything, different.

There’s no such thing as failure, only feedback.

Feedback that tells you to try something new.

Be willing to abandon your plan and ad lib until something connects.

Be willing to skip the notes and speak from your heart about what you’re passionate about.

Be willing to rework a product.

Tweak the language you use to promote it.

Refer a client on to someone else if necessary.

Success doesn’t have a recipe.

It’s an intuitive experiment where you use what’s available.  Maybe some raspberry jam and chipotle peppers, tofu and kale leads to an exquisite new taste sensation.

Or maybe it leads to “Meh,” and begs for more experimentation.

Keep experimenting in everything.

And be willing to change course as needed until something sticks.

FailCon did.  They didn’t last in the U.S.  So they went global, instead.  They took their important message to new people who hadn’t heard it, yet.  Invitation accepted!

(Oh, and the raspberry jam, chipotle peppers, tofu, kale?  Exquisite!)

 

I’m curious…have you ever had a business disaster that you salvaged by trying something different? I’d love to hear about it. Leave a comment below and share your story.  Let’ have a mini FailCon!

Good News! There’s No Such Thing as Self-Sabotage

I love a paradigm shift!

Here’s a keeper I’m learning to love because it’s helped me revisit some situations in my life and see them with fresh eyes.  Like I put in the contacts I didn’t know I needed.

Everyone is winning the game they are playing.

This didn’t make a lot of sense the first time I heard it.

Partly because it was followed by this gem:

There’s no such thing as self-sabotage.

Excuse me?  Come again?  I like to think I know a thing or two about self-sabotage.

Sabotage means “the act of destroying or damaging something deliberately so that it doesn’t work correctly.”

The good news is…

When we seemingly sabotage ourselves, it’s not deliberate.  We really can’t help it because there’s a force greater than us that lives in our heads and takes the wheel when it thinks we’re doomed.

Which should come as a huge relief.

Perverse, I know.  But true. 

Relief because we can officially stop hating on ourselves for not following through on our resolutions, plans, goals, dreams.  For bumping up against that wall and letting it stop us.  For not doing more, being more, succeeding more, trying more.

We can officially start being more kind to ourselves because we’re not broken.  In fact, we are working perfectly, as designed.

Our methods just might be a little old school, that’s all.

Have you ever been really close to getting something you want and then done something dumb that derailed the whole forward momentum you’d built up?

Quit, for example, (because something wasn’t perfect)?  Compulsively ate the pint of gelato?  Threw a mortifying tantrum at someone important?  Shopping spree!!  (Just as the credit card balance finally hit zero)?

These are some classic hits from my repertoire.

It’s what we’ve all come the think of as self-sabotage.

We’re winning the game we are playing.

What’s really going on is we are playing, and winning, a game that we’ve been playing for so long that it feels safe even if it hurts us.  It feels like we only have that one option and that there are no other choices.

Take my game of binge shopping and credit card debt.  Nordstrom’s and Lululemon were like heroin to me.  I still feel the pull of their siren song.  Sigh.

The game might be that I’ve linked cute clothes (and upscale labels) with belonging to a certain group of people.  I’m trying to fit in.

Or the game might be that credit card debt was a secret that my mom shared with me, but kept from my dad.  A part of my brain still links credit card debt to mother’s love.

Or the act of shopping itself was a way to numb intense emotions.  I needed to be numb in order to survive another day in a job that made me cry or a relationship that had gone to the South Pole.  So I shopped, and felt better for a moment.

It’s a matter of programming.

The unhelpful games we play with our money or our health or our loved ones are usually habitual and deeply patterned in our brains.  When I’m triggered, I’m preprogrammed to log on to Zappo’s or polish off a bag of ginger snaps.

That’s why simple resolve, or willpower, won’t work on some of the games we’ve been playing for years.

Our brains are convinced that the games we are playing—the binge eating, binge shopping, discomfort with having more than a certain amount of money in the bank—are what we HAVE to do to maintain a sense of love or to stay safe or to be part of our clan.

Willpower alone won’t be able to tear us away from those games.  What we are experiencing is, on some level, exactly what we want to be experiencing.

What we need for healing, growth and success are new games that keep that love, safety and a sense of belonging intact.

It’s not about getting rid of unwanted behaviors by overpowering them.

It’s about creating new choices that feel aligned with our desires and still totally doable.

It’s about designing some new games and learning to play them with joy and enthusiasm.

It’s not a DIY project (says the former queen of attempted DIY personal growth, aka, the queen of the “fakethrough”).  Coaches and mentors are game designers that help speed you to your highest potential.

Growth is complex and messy and full of tangles.   It takes a little time to loosen the threads on the old games that are so easy to play.

But how exciting and gratifying when the work clicks and you start to make different choices without even having to think about it.

Dare I say, it’s game changing?

 

Are you ready to start changing the games you’re playing around your money mindset, so you can make the amazing money you deserve?  I’m here to help!!  Schedule a complimentary Money Mindset Breakthrough Session today.  It’s a No Fakethrough Zone.