Category Archives: Mindset

The Self Esteem Mind Map

I’ve been having fun playing with a tool that I discovered in Wire Yourself for Wealth, by Laura Leigh Clarke.

It’s a mind map.  And doing it really is like rewiring your brain for a different experience.  You can see the new neural pathways forming as your map evolves.

I’d encourage you to do it for anywhere you feel stuck or undeserving.

But let’s start with self-esteem.

Do you know about mind maps? They’re an organic way to capture ideas and thoughts as one springs from another, then another, then another.  Here’s an example:

health-map
Click on the map for more examples.

 

Here’s how you to it:

1.  You’ll need a large piece of paper or poster board.  BIG!

2.  Draw a circle in the middle of a sheet of paper and in the circle  write down the topic/theme that you are exploring or the title of the project that you’re brainstorming.  For now, let’s write “Reasons why I deserve more self esteem.”

(In future episodes, you could mind map “reasons why I deserve to make $ X,000,” or “reasons why I deserve 3 new clients,” or “reasons why I deserve to have a fulfilling relationship.”  Self-esteem is your foundation for feeling like you deserve all good things, so we start there.)

2.  Follow your flow as you draw bubbles around the central bubble.  Fill in all the things you can think of that you love about yourself.

Include things you like about the way you look; your accomplishments, talents, skills, successes; things people compliment you on; acknowledgements.  Keep going and going and going.  Don’t stop till you have at least 200 things and see if you can push through to 300, 400 even 500 things.  Wear yourself out.  Wring every bit of juice out of yourself until there is no doubt in your mind that you are worthy.

3.  Hang up your creation someplace you can see it often.  It really will be quite beautiful.  Look at it every day and remind yourself often of all the ways you are perfect, all the ways the rest of us are so lucky that you’re here, sharing space on the planet with the rest of us.

By now you should be feeling pretty dang good about yourself.

So, YAY, You!

And I’m curious.  What is one thing that you love about yourself today?  Leave a comment below and declare it to the Universe!

Money IS a Spiritual Path

A few weeks ago I called a local spiritual center and proposed a workshop on money mindset and learning how to receive. The receptionist hesitated. Cleared her throat. Then informed me that, as far as programming goes, they prefer to stick to “spiritual” topics.

Huh? It was a WTF/Scooby Doo moment for me. You know, the one where Scooby shakes his head vigorously, as if trying to shake some comprehension into his dumbfounded brain? While secretly thinking, “WTF?”

And my bubble was pierced again.

My bubble shields me from the collective “wisdom” that money is the root of all evil.  (Most misquoted Bible verse of all times, though I’m the first to admit I’m no Bible misquote expert,  Just acutely tuned into the ways we stop ourselves from receiving more money even while our souls urge us to expand in ALL ways.)

And I’d forgotten that there’s a deep current of mistrust of money that runs through our collective unconscious…a current that says you can’t have money and still be spiritual. That the two are somehow mutually exclusive.

Can we just peel back some layers on that misconception today and open ourselves up to another possibility?

Do let’s!

Let’s explore how having more money can actually propel us farther along on our life’s journey, if, in fact, it’s your desire to have more and make a bigger impact.

1.  Money is neutral.

It doesn’t have it’s own energy, only the energy we assign to it.

It’s the root of evil in evil hands. It’s the root of greed in greedy hands. And it’s the root of good in Oprah’s hands. And probably in your hands, too.

2. Desire is the Divine guiding you to your purpose.

The Divine speaks to us through our desires (which are different from our habitual cravings for things like cookies after dinner).

The deep desires that filter through the mindless chatter and that bubble up in times of stillness and reflection guide us to the places where only we can make a difference. They guide us to the people (or animals or plot of earth) who need exactly what we have to give.

If you desire money above and beyond what you need to meet your daily needs, consider that the Divine is calling you forth into a bigger role. (As opposed to listening to that chatter in your head which wants to save you by insisting that you’re greedy, which reminds me…)

3.  More money doesn’t change who you are, it enhances it.

It won’t turn you into a voracious, planet-ravaging consumer. Unless you are that already. Which I doubt or you wouldn’t have made it to point #3.

Money allows you fuller self-expression by allowing you to get past surviving and get on with the joy and freedom of actually thriving in this abundant world.

4.  Speaking of Oprah, money is really useful as a measuring tool.

It tells us how much of an impact we’re making on the world. More money, bigger impact. Imagine if all the wealth of the world were in the hands of spirit-guided people with big hearts and generous natures? WOW!

P.S. We’re not serving the Divine by playing small.

5.  Money touches every aspect of our lives, every corner, every nook, every cranny.

You can’t get away with not having it, so we may as well get right with embracing it and welcoming it and being willing to use it without feeling guilty or ashamed or like we’re leaving someone behind.

Spiritual life has evolved to include modern conveniences and our desires have evolved with it.

Why won’t we let our relationship to money evolve as well?

We don’t go a day without using it, thinking about it, making decisions based on whether we have it or don’t have it. It affects not just our career and business decisions, but also our relationships, our health, our environment, and, yes, our ability to connect with our souls and with the bigger Source, the Divine, Infinite Spirit.

Money IS power.  Woo Hoo!!  It’s time to allow it to flow into and through the lives of people like you who have gifts to share and work to do, work based on a higher guidance, the movement of Divine Spirit through you.

We are the eyes and the ears and the voices of the Divine and the Divine is ready for the collective unconscious to evolve. It’s up to us to allow and welcome and embrace that, so the Divine can get on with its work through us.

And, it just so happens, it’s going to take resources. It’s going to require money.

6.  Money flows when we flow, when we connect with source and say yes to following its guidance.

See if the Divine isn’t urging you to grow and expand. Do you need resources to expand?

Yes. Yes you do.

If you’re not sure what to do next or how to crack yourself open, why not start looking for your own money blind spots, the places where you stop yourself from welcoming and embracing more? The places where you talk yourself into staying small or staying broke?

Most of us need help to find those blind spots and blocks.

Consider scheduling a complimentary Money Mindset Breakthrough Session to discover what blocks you. Click here to pick a time to break through!!

What To Do When You Know You’re Failing

There was an article in the New York Times last Sunday about failed start-ups.

But no one was wallowing in their sorrows or crying into their raw vanilla lattes.

In fact, one savvy entrepreneur had organized a yearly conference–FailCon–where entrepreneurs came together to share their stories and celebrate their failures.

Some had squandered millions of angel investor money.  One had a product that no one liked.  He shut the whole company down, told his story at the conference, and then had 100,000 requests for information.  That guy might have wallowed a bit.

FailCon eventually failed, too.  (Oh, the irony.)  They decided to call it quits in the U.S. once they realized that failure as a badge of honor was finally on everyone’s radar.

In Transformational Coaching we have a paradigm that says this:

There is no such thing as failure, only feedback.

On the one hand, yes, it’s an invitation to turn failures into learning experiences, to glean what you can from the choices you made and to move on to the next adventure with more wisdom under your belt.

Macro FailCon!

Love it.  It’s smart.  It’s important to be on entrepreneurial people’s radar.  But there’s more.

What happens when you’re failing in the moment?

When you’re face-to-face with a client or prospect and your message isn’t landing?  When your audience is restless?  When you hear white noise after a launch or a client isn’t following through on your suggestions?

Before you decide YOU are a failure, broken, out of her league, totally unloveable and barely human, take a deep breath.

Remind yourself that failure isn’t an invitation to find yourself lacking.

Rather, failure is simply an invitation to do something, anything, different.

There’s no such thing as failure, only feedback.

Feedback that tells you to try something new.

Be willing to abandon your plan and ad lib until something connects.

Be willing to skip the notes and speak from your heart about what you’re passionate about.

Be willing to rework a product.

Tweak the language you use to promote it.

Refer a client on to someone else if necessary.

Success doesn’t have a recipe.

It’s an intuitive experiment where you use what’s available.  Maybe some raspberry jam and chipotle peppers, tofu and kale leads to an exquisite new taste sensation.

Or maybe it leads to “Meh,” and begs for more experimentation.

Keep experimenting in everything.

And be willing to change course as needed until something sticks.

FailCon did.  They didn’t last in the U.S.  So they went global, instead.  They took their important message to new people who hadn’t heard it, yet.  Invitation accepted!

(Oh, and the raspberry jam, chipotle peppers, tofu, kale?  Exquisite!)

 

I’m curious…have you ever had a business disaster that you salvaged by trying something different? I’d love to hear about it. Leave a comment below and share your story.  Let’ have a mini FailCon!

Good News! There’s No Such Thing as Self-Sabotage

I love a paradigm shift!

Here’s a keeper I’m learning to love because it’s helped me revisit some situations in my life and see them with fresh eyes.  Like I put in the contacts I didn’t know I needed.

Everyone is winning the game they are playing.

This didn’t make a lot of sense the first time I heard it.

Partly because it was followed by this gem:

There’s no such thing as self-sabotage.

Excuse me?  Come again?  I like to think I know a thing or two about self-sabotage.

Sabotage means “the act of destroying or damaging something deliberately so that it doesn’t work correctly.”

The good news is…

When we seemingly sabotage ourselves, it’s not deliberate.  We really can’t help it because there’s a force greater than us that lives in our heads and takes the wheel when it thinks we’re doomed.

Which should come as a huge relief.

Perverse, I know.  But true. 

Relief because we can officially stop hating on ourselves for not following through on our resolutions, plans, goals, dreams.  For bumping up against that wall and letting it stop us.  For not doing more, being more, succeeding more, trying more.

We can officially start being more kind to ourselves because we’re not broken.  In fact, we are working perfectly, as designed.

Our methods just might be a little old school, that’s all.

Have you ever been really close to getting something you want and then done something dumb that derailed the whole forward momentum you’d built up?

Quit, for example, (because something wasn’t perfect)?  Compulsively ate the pint of gelato?  Threw a mortifying tantrum at someone important?  Shopping spree!!  (Just as the credit card balance finally hit zero)?

These are some classic hits from my repertoire.

It’s what we’ve all come the think of as self-sabotage.

We’re winning the game we are playing.

What’s really going on is we are playing, and winning, a game that we’ve been playing for so long that it feels safe even if it hurts us.  It feels like we only have that one option and that there are no other choices.

Take my game of binge shopping and credit card debt.  Nordstrom’s and Lululemon were like heroin to me.  I still feel the pull of their siren song.  Sigh.

The game might be that I’ve linked cute clothes (and upscale labels) with belonging to a certain group of people.  I’m trying to fit in.

Or the game might be that credit card debt was a secret that my mom shared with me, but kept from my dad.  A part of my brain still links credit card debt to mother’s love.

Or the act of shopping itself was a way to numb intense emotions.  I needed to be numb in order to survive another day in a job that made me cry or a relationship that had gone to the South Pole.  So I shopped, and felt better for a moment.

It’s a matter of programming.

The unhelpful games we play with our money or our health or our loved ones are usually habitual and deeply patterned in our brains.  When I’m triggered, I’m preprogrammed to log on to Zappo’s or polish off a bag of ginger snaps.

That’s why simple resolve, or willpower, won’t work on some of the games we’ve been playing for years.

Our brains are convinced that the games we are playing—the binge eating, binge shopping, discomfort with having more than a certain amount of money in the bank—are what we HAVE to do to maintain a sense of love or to stay safe or to be part of our clan.

Willpower alone won’t be able to tear us away from those games.  What we are experiencing is, on some level, exactly what we want to be experiencing.

What we need for healing, growth and success are new games that keep that love, safety and a sense of belonging intact.

It’s not about getting rid of unwanted behaviors by overpowering them.

It’s about creating new choices that feel aligned with our desires and still totally doable.

It’s about designing some new games and learning to play them with joy and enthusiasm.

It’s not a DIY project (says the former queen of attempted DIY personal growth, aka, the queen of the “fakethrough”).  Coaches and mentors are game designers that help speed you to your highest potential.

Growth is complex and messy and full of tangles.   It takes a little time to loosen the threads on the old games that are so easy to play.

But how exciting and gratifying when the work clicks and you start to make different choices without even having to think about it.

Dare I say, it’s game changing?

 

Are you ready to start changing the games you’re playing around your money mindset, so you can make the amazing money you deserve?  I’m here to help!!  Schedule a complimentary Money Mindset Breakthrough Session today.  It’s a No Fakethrough Zone.

 

 

 

 

 

Stop Feeding the Fire. Shine Your Own Light, Instead.

Today’s video might just piss someone off.

It’s a risk I’m willing to take.

Because I’ll go to the mat for this tip.

I’ve said it before.  We’re on this journey to increased wealth together.  I started from scratch.

I wasn’t living in my car, or anything.  But…

Pea-sized bank balance.  Heinous day job.  Zero confidence in my skill as a coach or writer or transformational leader in spite of a big gulp of certificates and trainings under my belt.  Which ultimately meant feeling like a fraud every time I’d ask for money for my service.

So I started experimenting.  I tried things.  Everything I’ve mentioned here (and am covering in this series).

I’m sharing what’s had a big impact on my life.

And today’s tip is one of those things that sounds harsh, but completely shifted my ability to see the possibilities for myself and my future.

May it do the same for you, Sweet Pea.  You deserve a clear vision of your magnificent self and all the support in the world to let her shine.

Prefer to read?  Click here to get the transcript (more or less).

When you stop feeding the fire by engaging, it eventually putters out. Tweet: When you stop feeding the fire by engaging, it eventually putters out.  #mindmoneywealthproject at http://ctt.ec/9dO2b+

Did I miss anything?  Other than stuff, junk food for the brain or toxic people, is there anything else you need to say clear out of your environment in order to say yes to the money you deserve?

Leave a comment below and let us know!

 

How to Keep Stirring Up Stuck Energy so Money Can Flow

What do you have to say no to so you can say yes to what you want?

There’s a constant juggling of yes and no as we move towards a dream of financial freedom.  Or any dream, really.

Last week, we said no to stuff.  We cleared out some money-blocking energy and put it on the curb.

That feels better, right?

It’s not just the corners of your living room or the drawers in your desk that hold stuck energy, though.

In today’s video, we look a second area in your life that might be begging for a good purge.

Let’s see how to stir up some more stuck energy this week.

 

Prefer to read?  Click here to get the transcript.

Resources to energize and uplift your energy.

This list is not even close to being complete.  It’s just…deadlines!!!

But here’s a question for you.  What is your best suggestion for media that’s inspiring, uplifting, positive and joy-based?  What would you recommend to the rest of us?  Leave a comment below and enlighten us!

And stay tuned.  Next week we Declutter the Danger Zone!  And get you one step closer to your goal.

How to Fire Up Your Money Magnet

Are you ready to get moving?

Today’s tip for raising your Prosperity Consciousness will get you out of your seat and leave you feeling clean and light and free—like you’re paragliding naked in the rain.

You’ll feel the energy start to wiggle and move immediately.

Immediately!

Extra help:

1.  Set a timer for 10 minutes and don’t stop till it dings.

2.  Or, commit to 27 things at a time.  Don’t stop till you’ve rounded up 27.

You’ll understand when you’ve seen the video.  Promise.

Enjoy this journey!  Every day one step closer to your destination.

 

Abundance is a renewable resource.  (Tweet that!)

I’m curious.  Did anything come up for you during this process?  Did you embrace it with gusto, or did you find some resistance?

Leave a comment below and share your experience.  I’d love to know how this landed.

Until next time!

xo

P.S.  If you’d like a transcript of this video, click here.

The First Thing to Do to Build Prosperity

I have an idea!

How about ten quick tips that will help you raise your Prosperity Quotient.  In 3 minutes or less!  On video!  Oh, yeah!

Short and sweet and designed to get you closer to abundance and financial ease.

Oh, yeah.

What’s PQ and why should I raise it, you ask?

Your Prosperity Quotient scores your ability to make and keep the amazing money you deserve by doing the work your were meant to be doing in the world.

It’s like your IQ, only it has to do with your money intelligence.

And it’s totally different from your IQ in that there are specific things you can do to raise it.

To get on your way to a higher PQ, watch the (short and sweet) video now.

And if you don’t know what your PQ is, click here to take the PQ Quiz.

 

 

Do me a favor and share this video with anyone you know who might struggle with indecision.

Thanks so much, and see you next week!

Better Than French Toast!

“Ruthlessly prioritize.”   —Paula Pant

 

Ruthlessly prioritize is another way of saying, “Get on the no train”  (Marie Forleo).

How often do we, as women, say no with gusto?

I implore you….learn to say no.  (It’ll change your life!)

And…it get’s easier with practice.

Eventually, saying no is better than French toast with real maple syrup from Vermont.

Saying no can be THAT good.

Think of it as choosing yourself.

Choosing yourself doesn’t mean you’re selfish.

It doesn’t mean you’re unhelpful or unkind or out to hurt someone’s feelings.

It doesn’t mean you’ll let someone down.

(In fact, saying no can often be of more service to another person than saying yes would be.  Sometimes hearing no turns out to be a gift.  Right, Mick Jagger?)

Choosing yourself by saying no means you take care of yourself.

It means you know what you want and you intend to get it.

It means you’re living your life on your terms.  And allowing others to do the same.

What does saying no have to do with making amazing money?

In her fabulous book, Overcoming Underearning, Barbara Stanny writes about the ten traits of chronic underearners.

Trait Number 6…”Underearners are codependent. …People who don’t value themselves easily slip into codependence, putting everyone else’s needs before their own. …Codependence creates victims.”

Codependent people don’t know how to say no because they don’t value themselves.

People who don’t value themselves stay stuck in a place of never enough money.

After all, if you don’t value yourself, and the work you do in the world, how can you expect anyone else to value you or your work?  How can you charge money for something you don’t value?

I know plenty about being in that place of never enough, so that’s why I’ve boarded the No Train.  Woot! Woot!  All aboard!

We’re embarking on a journey to someplace else.  The place of more than enough.

Care to join me in the lounge car?

(Say, “Yes!”)

 

Saying No to the Wrong Things

Not long ago, I was rebranding and twiddling the knobs of my website and my coaching business.  I realized that I was good at saying no to some things, but not others.

Saying no is so much easier when you’re fully committed to the things you want to achieve.

Until you commit, you waffle.  (Tweet it!)

And achievement doesn’t have to be pointed at only one thing.  You might even say no to everyone else’s definition of achievement and yes to your own personal definition.

My work/life balance got all off-kilter, and I realized that I’d been saying no to some of the things that make me happiest—spending time on mountains, daily sweat, consistent writing practice, making stuff (coconut curries and hand-spun yarn and cucumber and sunflower gardens), knitting with girlfriends.

handspun

I’d been saying no to the wrong things.  I’d been saying no to the things that make me happy that don’t necessarily have to do with achievement.

Unless you consider harvesting 17 squash on any given day an achievement.

squash

And I got sucked into some mindless things that don’t move my story forward to the place I want it to go—the news, black holes on the internet, sleeping too late, spending time with the wrong people.

I think that’s where the ruthless comes in in “Prioritize ruthlessly.”

Choose yourself every day.

Ruthless means choose yourself EVERY DAY.  Then surgically remove those other things that creep in. They seem harmless enough, even entertaining, but you know they steal time from the things that matter.

Every day is an opportunity to rebrand.

Today, I’m rebranding my time!  I’m reclaiming it as my own.

I’ll say no to the things that don’t matter and don’t make me happy.

I’ll say no to the things that don’t move my life in the direction of my dreams.

And I’ll say no to other people’s timetables, to comparing my progress with anyone else’s progress.

I’m saying yes to making my priorities non-negotiable.

That doesn’t sound selfish.  That sounds better than French toast.

sunfleur

What will you say no to today?

Leave a comment below and tell us…what will you say no to and where is your No Train going?

The One Thing You MUST Have to Succeed at Everything.

I used to own a folk art gallery.  I represented artists who were self-taught and outside the mainstream of society in some way.

Outside the mainstream could mean they had developmental disabilities, mental health issues or even addiction issues.

But none of these things could stop them from making art.

Making art was probably the best decision they made all day.  But it seemed less of a decision and more of a compulsion.

Make art or die.

Leonard lived in an old sharecropper’s shack in rural Georgia.  He said ‘no’ to plumbing so he could say ‘yes’ to cigarettes.  He chose gambling over dental care.  He had no interest in driving even though he was miles from town.

When I went to buy his work—charming memory paintings he’d done on tin roofing material—he’d have the paintings spread out on the ground in between the fire ant hills.  The tin sizzled in the Georgia sun.  He’d painted the lines with a twig he’d snapped off a decades-old azalea bush.

He’d stand aside while I chose what I wanted, then he’d bum a ride to the Fast Times convenience store so he could cash my check.  I never had to tell him not to smoke in the car.

We sold hundreds of his paintings.

I respect how this man, problems and all, lived so far outside the mainstream of society, yet still he managed to turn his passion into a living that sustained him.

Maybe you wouldn’t think of his life as particularly sustainable.  I know I dream of something more than an old shack with holes in the floor and fire ants in the yard.

But we all have to define success and abundance for ourselves.  According to our own values.

Leonard was living his life according to his values.

He didn’t worry about what his life “should” look like to other people.

He didn’t worry about what other people thought of his choices or his art.

He just created what he was moved to create in his own unique style.

People respond when you live your values.

People supported Leonard’s dream by buying his work.  Against all logical explanation, he was able to share his work with an audience that loved it.

He did it all without facebook, without twitter, without pinterest.  Half the time he called me collect because he’d used up all the minutes on his burner phone.

He did it by doing the work, day after day.

But there’s more to his success than the fact that he kept showing up every day, twig in hand, taking persistent, continuous action.

"Women--No Smoking" by Leonard Jones
“Women–No Smoking” by Leonard Jones

Leonard was unshakable in his resolve.

He didn’t want the laborer job that other men in similar circumstances might aspire to.  He didn’t want the house, the car, the responsibility of fitting in.

He wanted to paint.

He wanted to make his living by using his talent and and indulging his passion.  Every. Single. Day.

Without that unshakable resolve, Leonard would surely be living someone else’s life on someone else’s terms.

How unshakable is your resolve?

I ask because resolve is what makes Leonard’s story so compelling.

He knew how he wanted to live and what he wanted to share with the world.  He resolved every day to make that happen.

 

Resolve is the one thing you must have to make the life of your dreams come true.

 

No wavering. 

No waffling.

No second guessing yourself or making contingency plans or telling the Universe that you’ll settle for a fraction of what you really want.

I know I settle when my resolve is weak.  My resolve is weak when I don’t really believe that I deserve what I want or that there is abundance enough in the world to flow to my dreams.

Resolve is the keystone of success, the piece that holds all the other pieces in place and keeps the whole dang thing from collapsing into a pile of rubble.

How unshakable is your resolve?

If it’s trembling a little, what do you need to do today to lock that keystone into place?

Leave a comment and tell me, on a scale of 1-10, how unshakeable is your resolve?  If it’s less than a 10, tell yourself how you’re going to get to 10 then go do one thing to move you closer.