“Ruthlessly prioritize.” —Paula Pant
Ruthlessly prioritize is another way of saying, “Get on the no train” (Marie Forleo).
How often do we, as women, say no with gusto?
I implore you….learn to say no. (It’ll change your life!)
And…it get’s easier with practice.
Eventually, saying no is better than French toast with real maple syrup from Vermont.
Saying no can be THAT good.
Think of it as choosing yourself.
Choosing yourself doesn’t mean you’re selfish.
It doesn’t mean you’re unhelpful or unkind or out to hurt someone’s feelings.
It doesn’t mean you’ll let someone down.
(In fact, saying no can often be of more service to another person than saying yes would be. Sometimes hearing no turns out to be a gift. Right, Mick Jagger?)
Choosing yourself by saying no means you take care of yourself.
It means you know what you want and you intend to get it.
It means you’re living your life on your terms. And allowing others to do the same.
What does saying no have to do with making amazing money?
In her fabulous book, Overcoming Underearning, Barbara Stanny writes about the ten traits of chronic underearners.
Trait Number 6…”Underearners are codependent. …People who don’t value themselves easily slip into codependence, putting everyone else’s needs before their own. …Codependence creates victims.”
Codependent people don’t know how to say no because they don’t value themselves.
People who don’t value themselves stay stuck in a place of never enough money.
After all, if you don’t value yourself, and the work you do in the world, how can you expect anyone else to value you or your work? How can you charge money for something you don’t value?
I know plenty about being in that place of never enough, so that’s why I’ve boarded the No Train. Woot! Woot! All aboard!
We’re embarking on a journey to someplace else. The place of more than enough.
Care to join me in the lounge car?
Saying No to the Wrong Things
Not long ago, I was rebranding and twiddling the knobs of my website and my coaching business. I realized that I was good at saying no to some things, but not others.
Saying no is so much easier when you’re fully committed to the things you want to achieve.
Until you commit, you waffle. (Tweet it!)
And achievement doesn’t have to be pointed at only one thing. You might even say no to everyone else’s definition of achievement and yes to your own personal definition.
My work/life balance got all off-kilter, and I realized that I’d been saying no to some of the things that make me happiest—spending time on mountains, daily sweat, consistent writing practice, making stuff (coconut curries and hand-spun yarn and cucumber and sunflower gardens), knitting with girlfriends.
I’d been saying no to the wrong things. I’d been saying no to the things that make me happy that don’t necessarily have to do with achievement.
Unless you consider harvesting 17 squash on any given day an achievement.
And I got sucked into some mindless things that don’t move my story forward to the place I want it to go—the news, black holes on the internet, sleeping too late, spending time with the wrong people.
I think that’s where the ruthless comes in in “Prioritize ruthlessly.”
Choose yourself every day.
Ruthless means choose yourself EVERY DAY. Then surgically remove those other things that creep in. They seem harmless enough, even entertaining, but you know they steal time from the things that matter.
Every day is an opportunity to rebrand.
Today, I’m rebranding my time! I’m reclaiming it as my own.
I’ll say no to the things that don’t matter and don’t make me happy.
I’ll say no to the things that don’t move my life in the direction of my dreams.
And I’ll say no to other people’s timetables, to comparing my progress with anyone else’s progress.
I’m saying yes to making my priorities non-negotiable.
That doesn’t sound selfish. That sounds better than French toast.
What will you say no to today?
Leave a comment below and tell us…what will you say no to and where is your No Train going?